Im typing this post with Emmy Rossum's ' slow me down' playing on my mac. Its really funny how music works as an escape for most people. well , im one of those people. music was there for me through everything. i think im into every genre. well , rock seems to be something i can relate to recently. music with good lyrics are good music.

if there's two words to describe me right now. it would have to be 'drifting' and 'clueless'
today is one of those down days. i know i should leave this post till the new year , but it seems so far away. im given pretty m uch time to think a lot given all the free time. this year has been a real life changing one. not that its entirely bad. i've learnt alot. but im still not happy. everything happened in the wrong time and place i guess. you know how certain things are not to be meddled with knowing its wrong and that you'll have to pay the consequences. why is it in my nature to still crave for it despite all the flashing headlights of warning?

i feel so cranky not knowing what to do with my life.its really bugging me. i dont think i can learn to embrace change anytime soon. the world's changing. i see people im close to change to people i dont know anymore. i've changed and i must say , not for any good. why is GOD working in such a strange way? this year sucks. too many things took place , and before it can sink in , another will happen.

i just really fed up.