I've got my posting results already. They said , " we regret to inform you that you were not chosen for any course" [ something like that. why would i remember word for word?]
So, i have no hope at poly, near zero chances for nafa due to my hopeless art background. I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING TAKE ART FOR O'S. I tell you, my aggregate would have been so much nicer.
So who do i blame for my misfortune? Which ever idiot in Tanglin who closed down art on me. I mean i didnt even fucking know what to expect during the test at NAFA. I think I'll go jump of a building if the academydoesnt want to accept me. But Im afraid of heights.
Forgive me as i contemplate which manner of suicide is the best.[Didnt i have this conversation with Jayne before?]
1. Bang head against the wall
2.Slit wrists
3. Overdose on alcohol
4. inhale gas
5. overdose on sleeping pills
6. drink detergent
8. get murdered by hannibal [shudder]
9.get knock down by a car, lorry, bus, MRT!!,aeroplane
10.go to the vet and be asked to put to sleep.

Then, again, there's always Lasalle.
Points to note.
1. I come from a middle income family, whereby the breadwinner brings home just sufficient money to get along
2. I only have 2k in my joint account with my mom. Where im I going to get the remaining money for 18K? you can suggest working. What? Bring back about 1k? Nowhere near enough.

fuck!!

to him upstairs : why do you give me talents which I cannot put to good use?

wait, maybe I do not have any talent at all. Maybe I just presume I do. Maybe it's because nobody in my class likes art, and just because I do, equals to Im good.
Well reality is that I FUCKING SUCK IN WHATEVER I DO.
i fucking suck at art
im fucking suck at literature.
i fucking suck at english.
i fucking suck at music.
i fucking suck at my faith/religion
these are the things that i really enjoy so much. ironical isnt it?

what the FUCKING hell Im i good at.
and you know what makes it worse.
that there are probably a few people gloating over it. HA.
you know who you are. on the surface you all try to be nice. Think i do not know that you are probably thinking to yourself , " im glad im not SHERYL"
HA.
Im just a matter taking up space.
My existance is redundant , i've got to rely on so many people just to get by.
So, you know what. Probably when I'm gone, there's one less person fighting for a space in society.Oh, and taking up a share of oxygen.
oh, the happiness and nobility.