im fine now, though the blackouts are still lingering. i didnt think it was that a big deal since its such a common thing. its the worse case yesterday. didnt felt that bad before. havent blackout for more than a minute or two till yesterday.thanks atiqa , adel and umi for rushing down from school to the mcdonalds im stranded at. felt so much relief after i puked. but it came back when im in the cab.niways, went to see the doctor. he told me that its best that my blood pressure doesnt go any lower and prescribed me gigantic iron capsules.

i wished i fainted even longer. then i dont have to go thru all these.

sarah and my mum, why do they have to constantly involve me in their disputes.

why does sarah and nicholas have to give so much trouble that i dont even have room to make my own mistakes.i have to be strong so my folks dont have more to worry about.im not that strong. stop making me think i am.

im a tired person. 

i need salvation. i need relief.

dear God, why do you always abandon me when i need you so badly.