"And no one cares to talk about it..."

One thing i simply cannot stand is people guilt tripping me.

so now everything's my fault?fine.

just because i resumed normalcy , you think that im fine?

ha.

so i have to be the extreme person i used to be for you to think im normal is it?

hello , those who fucking think the fact that i have a laptop and sarah doesnt is something so fucking unfair, wake up your idea okay.

you want to compare the things i have and that she doesnt?

for one that beats everything:

SHE'S A LOT HAPPIER THAN I AM.

do you hear me complain when she and hamid openly whisper sweet nothings on the phone every night?

hello? you realised she has a psp and i dont?

and cash?i rather make my own than take yours.

you're always paying for my clothes?and you never bought that many for her?

does she need that many when she's in uniform practically everyday?

and i dont blindly shop for clothes.

i select those i like and wear em' to death, mind you.

so , she feels less loved by the people around her?

you sure ? are you fucking sure?

when she's unhappy, does she hide the fact that she is?

i have to pretend everything's fine so nobody suspects a thing.

why am i on my lappy practically everyday?

ha.

i find my own distractions so i wont cry in front of you.

i swore i wont cry in front of you.

you and your many suicide attempts. who was the one who stayed up fucking all night to make sure you dont exactly fling yourself out of the window?

and your hobby of writing wills?

who was the one who picked it up from the trash and read it? 

so blame me for being selfish.

yea, i'd like to be selfish.

i'd like my world to revolve around me for once, instead of all the people in it.