"I heard that a knee makes a good pillow when you're down..."

If you haven't heard.

I got expelled from Nafa.

I'll survive.

I've been through shit before.

I can do it again.

I am calm and relaxed.

You may not be convinced cause I myself am not too sure.

But I will have to be calm and relaxed for my folks.

I'll be normal.

Dont console me cause I dont wanna cry.

Dont ask me what Im gonna do now. I dont know, I'll figure that sometime later in life.

Honestly, this whole thing didnt came too much of a surprise for me.

I sorta expected it. C'mon, I screwed my first semester remember?

From the point when I found it so difficult to attend the retake module , to that when I got barred from the assessment.

I half expected this to happen.

What hurts most is not that I got kicked out, but rather how I will hurt my folks when they find out.

Mum once told me that I better make this work before I enrolled for Nafa.

I didnt in Sem 1 and I didnt again in sem 2.

I cant even tell her that maybe its God's will, cause she doesnt believe in God. 

the future looks bleak.

But I'll be ok.

I am strong. I am so much a stronger person than who I used to be. 

I wonder, if I wasnt good in the mainstream stuff , not good enough for things that I thought I was talented , what should I do?

Im not talented Ahlian, even if i was , who would care for one single talent?

Have you seen the world flooded with talented people?

This is called insignificance(:

I've proven the point.

I should swear off art no?

I dont wanna be like those american idol idiots who insist they can sing when they stink.

I have no idea what the fuck Im rambling now, my mind's a mess.

I oughta stop typing.

I need to regain my calm.

Thank you Geshy, for the very heartwarming post(::

kbye.