its too late even for a miracle . its just too late. i honestly thought i could manage. guess i over estimated myself. its like everytime i want to do my art , i dont know , maybe these are signs from God, i never manage to do it. i spent so many days on just my figure drawing which happens to not be up to standard by the way.its still not done and the dateline's tomorrow. you know letting myself down isnt really quite a big issue. its the people around me. those who were supporting me all the way. those i impressed with my determination. i just feel like im letting all of them down, especially my parents, they are gonna be so disappointed.what's more , now that my mum's been convinced how much i wanted this. i just simply let her down.my dad who worked so hard for my fees, i just wasted 3k on nothing. tell me how cam i feel ok.
and there's hafiz and farid.if they really screwed this year, it would indirectly be because of me.they were there for me. they skipped school to accompany me.how can all these be ok.
this is really my biggest failure in life so far. i dont know how to handle it at all.
i want to blame somebody for all that's happen. but all the fault points to me. i allowed one failed relationship to snowball into so many problems that's affecting the people around me.
how can all these be ok. how do i answer people when they ask me how's school?
i had wanted this so badly.
life's lessons are getting too tough.im watching my own future crumble before me.