im sitting in some place in singapore with of course internet connection.
sorry rachel and melvin. i cant let you know where i am. i want to run away for as long as i can.you two care. and you will do the right thing cause you do.
i want to run and run and run and i dont want anybody to catch me.
i want to free myself of all responsibilities.im so drained.physically , mentally and spiritually.
i went to shannens house to help me cling on my faith. but i woke up this morning and decided not to trust God anymore.God exists but i he doesnt keep his promises.i so angry with everything, im starting hate.i hate you Geshy but ironically i still love you as much as i did from the start.you ruined my life and that of my family.all my life this is the first time i've EVER seen my dad cry.i hate you God for putting me in such situations. when i prayed to you to give me strength, you didnt listen.when i tried on my own , you just pushed me down to ground. for the three times i tried to pick myself up , you made me fall.making me more demoralised and injured with every fall.so i tell what. i aint gonna get up cause you cant kick me down when im already on the ground.
im so sorry to those who really care unlike those who pretend to so they can free themselves of guilt. i love you all.
so officially , sheryl died today.